Dear Bunmi,

My childhood friend got appointed into a very juicy post and since then, my fortunes have changed. He’s thrown a lot of contracts my way and we’ve been able to complete our own house and change cars. He has also made my wife the official caterer of the establishment he works with and she too has become financially secured in her own rights. But not as secured as the way she’s spending money. She buys any aso-ebi going, no matter how expensive, and the array of her jewels is mind-boggling.

Lately, her catering contract has been stretched to providing afternoon lunches for the directors and I’ve heard talks that my friend sleeps with my wife regularly and nobody in his office dares complain about her catering no matter how shoddy it is. I tried to stop her working but my own contracts not only stopped, I found it difficult to collect money for the ones I’d already completed. So I lifted my ban, and of course, contracts started coming in again.

I feel humiliated that things have to be this way. The kids are now used to fancy things and I never want to go back to the days where I had to scrimp and save.

I’ve been advised to look the other way as things like that happen all the time. But I don’t love my wife any more even though I have this feeling that if I sent her packing, I, along with our three children, would be the ones to suffer. We’ve been married 19 years.

by e-mail.

Dear Albert,

It is sad that men use their wives as baits for contracts these days without batting an eyelid. It’s obvious you feel betrayed by your friend and your wife but is the affluence you now enjoy worth losing your self-respect? What about the children? Wouldn’t they realize that their mother is now the power broker in the family! Where would that leave you?.

Your fear is that if you ask your wife to leave she would laugh and happily dance out of your life. Sadly, you alone can choose between these two evils.

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